Sex During Pregnancy: A Guide to Safe Sex Positions and 10 FAQs

Due to hormones, some may feel their vagina is less “tight.” A combination of factors can cause this, like increased lubrication and a shift in hormones.

Others may find their pelvic floor muscles too tight (as genitalia can also become more sensitive), making penetrative sex downright uncomfortable.

For this, Fosnight recommends taking more time to warm up with foreplay or kissing before going in. You also could engage in mindful sex and skip penetration altogether.

When to see a doctor If pelvic discomfort is an ongoing issue, get evaluated by your healthcare provider and request a referral to a pelvic floor specialist. Fosnight notes some providers may minimize the issue as a result of pregnancy, but she reminds us: “If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t assume it’s normal for pregnancy.”

Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. Many sexual health challenges during pregnancy can and are addressed by providers every day.

You may also experience easier orgasms 

Stephanie Buehler is the author of “Counseling Couples Before, During, and After Pregnancy: Sexuality and Intimacy Issues.” She’s also a psychologist and certified sex therapist.

She notes, “Some women may [even] have orgasms for the first time during pregnancy because of blood flow and hormones.”

Sounds amazing.

But that’s not the whole picture. During pregnancy, your body changes, and each day, week, and month can feel different from the last.

Your genitalia may be a lot more sensitive

Due to hormonal changes, some women find their sexual appetites turn voracious. They just can’t get enough from the sex buffet. What stimulates that need?

Fosnight credits the 50 percent increased blood flow that happens during pregnancy. That blood also goes to the vulva, vagina, clitoris, and pelvis, engorging the tissues. Depending on the person, it can feel either pleasurable, irritating, or somewhere in between.

“Men may say they feel more fullness in the vagina, even during the first trimester,” Fosnight says. 

You might feel a little extra wet

And if you feel a little extra wet — well, you are.

It’s common for increased secretions and more lubrication to occur, mostly to fight bacteria (and bacterial infection). According to Fosnight, you’re not just like a regular self-cleaning oven anymore. “You’re an extra self-cleaning oven,” she says. 

In preparation for milk production, your breast shape and size may change and increase by up to a cup size or two.

1. Will penetration hurt the pregnancy?

Simply put, no.

“During penetration, the uterus may move a little bit and you feel it,” Fosnight says. “People have freaked out something is happening to the baby.” In fact, the uterus is just more movable during pregnancy. A mobile home of sorts.

“The baby is super protected and has its own filter system that’s really selective about what goes in and comes out,” Fosnight notes. “Unless you’ve been instructed to have pelvic rest, sex is OK.”

Pelvic rest can be prescribed for issues such as an incompetent cervix or placenta previa.

However, one study found up to 80 percent of men worry about “hurting the baby.” If necessary, bring your partner with you to your next OB appointment, Richmond says. They can hear an expert’s reassurance that their penis isn’t touching the baby.

2. Will pregnancy sex cause miscarriage?
Sex won’t cause a miscarriage. Miscarriages are often a result of a fetus not developing normally. A 2011 studyTrusted Source also concluded sex doesn’t induce early labor in low-risk pregnancies.

In fact, sex may even help with labor. “[S]ome couples have sex up until the woman goes into labor,” Buehler says. “Unless there is a medical reason or one or both partners are uninterested, couples can do as they please.”

However, if you’re having sex with new or multiple partners, wear a condom until you’re sure of their STI status. Sexually transmitted infections can result in potential pelvic inflammatory disease, which can lead to early labor, miscarriage, and other serious health complications.

3. Is bleeding after sex something I should worry about?
“It’s always best to talk with one’s physician regarding any concerns,” Buehler says. But don’t fully freak out quite yet.

Due to pregnancy changes, your cervix is sensitive and can get irritated easily, leading to bleeding. You’ll notice spotting after sex, when you wipe, and possibly the next day.

Chat with your healthcare provider for ideas on how to minimize any irritation (such as controlling depth of penetration) if you’re not enjoying the anxiety ride.

4. Is it normal for sex to hurt during pregnancy?
Sensitive breasts and nipples can be sexy. But for some, the sensitivity can make interactions painful.

“Blood flow and hormones can also make the clitoris very sensitive as well,” Buehler says. Pelvic floor issues can be a challenge.

If you’re tempted to “power through” such moments? Don’t, Buehler says. Sex shouldn’t feel like a marathon or endurance sport.

“Sex should never hurt, and it’s best to talk openly,” she says. “There are lots of ways to be intimate. Couples need to find the ones that work for them during the pregnancy.” 

5. Is it normal to have orgasmic dreams at night during pregnancy?
Yes. Many women have amazing “wet dreams” or sleep orgasms when pregnant.

“Another bonus due to higher estrogen levels and increased blood flow,” Richmond says. “I had several of my clients report it with a bit of concern, then were delighted when I told them it’s normal and will most likely subside after they give birth, so enjoy it!”

6. Can different positions influence the sex of my baby?
There are all sorts of common pregnancy myths about sex and gender, Fosnight says. However, she confirms there’s no science at all behind such tales, including conception position, sexual positions during pregnancy, conception date, or time.

7. Why don’t I feel sexy?
“Pregnancy is such a unique experience for all women,” Richmond says. She points out in Western cultures, we’re often told we’ll feel one of two extremes. “You’ll feel wonderful or horrible, you’re either glowing or throwing up.”

With ever-shifting hormones and getting used to a new body, there are many changes that can complicate desire. Many women note a decrease in interest, comfort, and desire in the third trimester, according to several studies. And while fatigue and morning sickness may pass, some of the roadblocks may be related to your mindset.

“We still have old notions that a mother is prim and proper, and associating sexuality with pregnancy is a hush-hush topic,” Buehler says. “If [your partner] doesn’t feel sexy, have [them]… look at [their] ideas about being a mother. It is possible to be a mom and remain a sexual being before, during, and after pregnancy.”

Pregnancy may also be a time of psychological and sexual exploration for the pregnant person and their partner, she adds.

It’s possible you’re finding what used to turn you on doesn’t anymore. That may be just a matter of different tastes (like temporary food cravings) and experimenting to see what works.

8. Is there anything I can do to reconnect with my sexual self?
While each person, pregnancy, and trimester is different, there are a few things you could try to calm the anxieties around your changing body:

• First, Fosnight recommends looking at images of naked pregnant people or boudoir shoots (yes, turn off Google SafeSearch). She says that often when doing this exercise with clients, they’ll find a particular visual and say, “She looks like me! Oh, she’s beautiful.”
• Offer yourself positive self-talk, saying statements like “I’m beautiful” or “I’m growing a human being.”
• Notice how often you caress your belly. Due to pregnancy, you have increased nerve sensitivity along with increased blood flow. Caress your skin and enjoy the boosted sensations.
• If your G-string no longer fits, keep looking for something that makes you feel pretty and sexy and that perhaps helps display your growing rack. There are plenty of maternity lingerie options out there.
• Head in for a pregnancy boudoir shoot of your own, Fosnight adds. Whether you want to go lacy lingerie or pregnant pinup, there are options for every body type and trimester. And trust us, when you’re 81, you’ll think you looked AMAZING.
• Add “Your Orgasmic Pregnancy” by Danielle Cavallucci and Yvonne Fulbright to your bookshelf, Fosnight suggests. It’s a coffee-table book with photos, drawings, and positions to consider.

9. Is there anything sexual that’s unsafe?
If you’re hoping to enact out a little 50 Shades of Pregnancy, go ahead — as long as you and your partner already have experience with floggers, rope, and more, Fosnight says.

If you’re the recipient of spankings, your partner should avoid the belly and abdomen and any tie that could constrict blood flow. If you’re new to the scene, maybe wait to put on the cuffs until after pregnancy (and a full night’s sleep).

Definitely create boundaries of what touch is acceptable if you get started, too.

And while sessions of anal and riding on a Hitachi are perfectly fine, don’t allow anyone to blow air into your vagina. Although rare, air blown into the vagina may causeTrusted Source embolisms and even death.

10. When can I start having sex after having my baby?
As one study noted, the standard recommendation is about six weeks. Women with few complications often start having sex again before that, as long as tearing or infection isn’t present.

Check with your healthcare provider to find out which camp you’re in.

Sex positions for couples

When it comes to pregnancy sex, stick to positions that keep the pressure and weight off the belly. These will likely be more comfortable for you and your pregnant partner.